emotion consequence

i am an emotional person.

maybe not as much as some gals but still i can start crying even if all you did was look at me funny. my friend megan, back in high school, always said i looked like a looney toon character when i cried because it seemed like the tears just started spraying out the sides of my eyes.

lots of tears.

lots.

i cry when i'm watching sappy movies, i cry when i'm on the phone with a loved-one, i even cried when i was working for Sears as a collector and i was talking to an old man who sounded like my Grandpa Bill and it obviously wasn't him, but it sounded just like him - and i was missing my Grandpa so much - so, i started crying... my manager thought i was nuts.


i cry about once a week because i miss my sisters, so much.
i cry when i'm worried about my babies, when they're sick or when they are hurt - i cry when i have bad dreams, i cry for my sister who is sad and sometimes feels like she's living in a bad dream.

i cry when i'm driving home and i haven't been there in a while and i've been missing it, i cry when i have to leave to go back to my new home with my family because i know, i'll be missin' my old home so much.

i cry when i'm proud of someone - when things change, when things seem like they'll never change.

sometimes i cry for no reason at all,

just. because.

i cry when i'm stressed, when i'm confused - when i'm embarrassed, when i'm overwhelmed - i cry when i've hurt feelings, i cry when i've had my feelings hurt - when i need direction, when i'm at His feet broken.

i'm. a. crier.

i've always been a crier. it's how i deal. remember when we were young that you were crying so hard that whoever you were trying to talk to couldn't understand what you were saying and it just came out a big squeaky, whiny mess? or you cried all night because something (that now you would consider so silly and inconsequential) bad happened - either at school, with a friend, a boyfriend or sports?

i'm thankful i have that way to release that bottled-up emotion. sometimes you just need a good cry.

but.

is crying a consequence of not trusting?

i once heard that if you are having a bad day - you are Not abiding in Christ. if you are wallowing in your stress, your hurt and your feelings - you are Not laying it down for Him. i think that maybe my crying (a lot of the time) is a good sign for me to see that i'm trying to take care of things on my own - solve my own problems, find my own joy.

and i'm forgetting that He's got this.

He never leaves.

i'm His.

and He is always there to wipe my tears, reassure with a kiss on the forehead - He'll turn me around, pat me on the butt and off i go to try again to Trust ...

first! this time.

*source for all pics here

quest

How is it that a wee babe can so freely trust you so much? Is it because they don't have any other choice - Is it because they know instinctively that mama and daddy loves them more than life itself and will do anything to make sure they are taken care of and tended to?

You know the trust I'm talking about - the trust where when you are holding a baby and they are lifeless in your arms - swept away to sleep. Completely. Out. Cold. They know that you are going to hold them and tend to them, put them in a nice warm bed with comfy soft blankeys.

The trust when you can take your little one and toss them in the air, and oh! the joy and excitement! Those sweet wonderful giggles as they are tossed up into the sky. They trust you. They trust you to catch them.

Here are some pictures of our youngest, Billy.

This weekend he found his new love. Sliding down the slide.

This was his first time going down the slide - this kid is not even 10 mo. old and he ADORES it so much! I would put him up at the top and he would crawl on his tummy just far enough till he knew he would be wabbling and then soon be just about to slide down then he would put his arms out straight and down he'd go! It. Was. Hilarius! He is so brave!

We loved watching him.

The trust he had with me, knowing that I would catch him at the bottom, the trust that both my boys have with me - just amazes me. I'm not sure that anyone trusts me as much as they do. It's humbling, it's breathtaking, it's life changing and it can be overwhelming.

How is it that we can't have this same unshakable trust in our Creator? We're human and these little ones will trust us day after day, after day. Even if we burn dinner, melt their sippy-cups in the dishwasher or throw-away their favorite stuffed-toy because it got mauled by Daphnie. Never fails. They keep on trusting.

My quest this week -

No flinching!

Off and runnin' ...

crisp morning air... fall is on it's way

Pauly sneaks into our room ...

tri-party-snuggle-fest.

William wakes and Pauly and I rush into greet him...

good morning brother!

4 fabulous toofer grin.

crisp air calls for hot cereal...

mama style.

Oats, brown sugar, cinnamon and cream...

with a little spoon of butter in each bowl.

3 happy eating breakfast boys.

Daddy off to work and mama's spinning around the house...

2 boys dressed, lickity-split!

Mama's dressed, make-up applied and hair

swept to the side,

in bobbys.

Easy-peasy!

Grocery List made,

one last pit-stop for the champion potty-training boy,

and we're off!

Groceries shopped.

1 big brother helped...

a ton!

1 little brother...

cat-napped.

Off to the park.

Swinging,

sliding,

laughing,

climbing,

new friends,

and new adventures.

Home again.

Picnic on the lawn...

"Making the decision to have a child is momentous.

It is to decide forever to have your heart

go walking around outside your body."

~Elizabeth Stone

evening repertoire

Every evening, after my boys are tucked away to bed,

I will escape to go get a nice shower -

I sleep so much better if I'm clean and smellin' good.

Then I'll snuggle into some nice soft pjs,

and go to the kitchen to cut up a fruit.

Sometimes it is an apple, sometimes an orange,

but often it is a

pink grapefruit.

On my diet it says to eat half of grapefruit at a time

- but I don't care!

I eat a whole one!

I'm a rebel like that.

I'll slice it and then cut those slices in half (they are way easier to eat that way).

Then, I like to then arrange it pretty on a plate.

I'm much more excited about eating my food if it is plated perfectly and arranged beautifully.

With this plate full of healthy goodness and my ice cold water bottle in hand...

I am

good.

to.

go.

Next, all I have to do is talk the hubster into watching a little Grey's... *wink*

(which he usually does, at least one episode - he knows it makes me happy)

**Suzanne from Privet and Holly is having a fun giveaway! Go see!

so far...

So I wanted to share with you my progress on losing weight.

Ben took this picture when I first started eating better. It's amazing the difference - it has been about 3 weeks.

I've just been staying away from carbs - eating protein, veggies and fruit.

Trying to drink lots of water and liquids.

I'm fitting into smaller sizes and have more energy

and I feel GREAT!

My sister took this picture of me this weekend when she came to visit.

I've definitely got to be more strict and not sneak bites of mac n cheese here and there or french fries, drink more water and work out an exercises routine.

I get a ton of encouragement from my husband, mom & dad, and sisters!

They are amazing!

I'll do another pic in a month or so but,

so far ~ so good!

Weekend Update!

This is your weekend update with me, The Lady of the House.

(pretend I'm sitting at a desk with a pencil behind my ear - you know, SNL style)

We started noticing that our little baby boy was starting to look

really scraggly!
So daddy went to work with the clippers

he took off the sides and a little off the top
and with brother's help...

our little monster was looking less like a big hairy monster

and more like a

well-groomed handsome monster.

We made piggie pancakes!

Bananas for eyes, a yogurt covered pretzel for their tail

and two gummy bears cut up for their noses.My sissy was here all weekend.

It.

was.

heavenly.

We organized,

laughed,

cleaned,

laughed,

chased kids,

watched Grey's,

her heart melted when she got winked at by a cute Army guy in Wal-mart -

I have to agree he was cute!,

ate terrible Mexican Food,

watched a terrible movie that made Casi cry :(,

we went to Farmer's Market,

spilt coffee on my white shirt,

got sun-burn,

then off to Basque Market for Chorizos and yummy cheese,

Casi! wrong polka-dot shirt,

went to lunch at Chili's,

Casi cleaned my coffee-stained shirt in the bathroom

while I killed flies and

fought off Girl Scouts that were trying to carry William off,

shopping - shopping and more shopping,

Dance Party of the century in my livingroom,

late nights,

tired mornings,

sad good-byes.

Thanks for coming to visit you two.

To the moon.

I Do...

Likey!

Don't you love just flipping through Etsy ~

well this is what I found on my latest venture...source

So tell me, do you have any favorite Etsy shops?

Get down and give me 20!

Hey y'all! Just wanted to share with you that I'm down 20 lbs! Wowza! So excited!

My husband came home on Monday from work and brought me some clothes from a dear gal that he works with ~ a dress and a couple blouses. So sweet! So thanks Susan! You're a doll & we're prayin' for quick healing for ya! xoxo


So! For today's post I decided to go online and find some more inspiration just to keep going, ya know? So here are some pics of some clothes from Old Navy (hearts) that I would like to wear when I'm feverishly hot!

Ow!