Saturday, March 19, 2011

upon a somber morn...

4 weeks ago or so,
I took a pregnancy test
it was positive. At 3:30 am
the following morning


I lost it.

There were signs.

Nothing definite and I wanted to believe
everything would be okay. But it wasn't okay.

It had happened before but no one is ever prepared for something
like this. No one. It was early, I am thankful for that and really, I am thankful
to God for the natural way of things. His ways are best and I know this - it's still hard.

I've grieved,
we both have grieved.

My husband, bless his heart, has
been so patient, so helpful, so attentive.

I'm so thankful for him and my two beautiful boys
who, in the midst of all the heart-break, taught themselves how
to go play together and were so good while I would lay on the couch,
or sit in my chair as I took the time to be still and let the hurt pass me by.

I cannot
be more sure,
at this point, as to
why things like this happen.

But what I do know, is that my
heart is even more thankful for my brown-
eyed healthy boys, even more thankful for sisters,
friends and mamas, even more thankful for a husband who
always knows just what to say and just when to say it - Truly Thankful.

Now,
I'm going to
take a break and
I want you all to know
I love you dearly and I'm off
to go on a vacation with my family and
also welcome my sister and her daughter as they
are moving in with us and I am SO excited for this change.
So lots of things coming up and in a few weeks from now, I'll be
back with lots of new pictures, new stories, new beginnings to share... with you.

The Lord
 is my shepherd;
 I shall not want. 2 He
maketh me to lie down in green
pastures: he leadeth me beside the still
waters. 3 He restoreth my soul: he leadeth me
in the paths of righteousness for his name's sake. 4 Yea,
though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will
fear no evil: for thou art with me; thy rod and thy staff they comfort me.
5 Thou preparest a table before me in the presence of mine enemies: thou anointest
my head with oil; my cup runneth over. 6 Surely goodness and mercy
shall follow me all the days of my life: and I will dwell in
the house of the Lord  for ever and ever. 
Psalm 23: 1-6

7 comments:

Kristy said...

Bless your heart !! I am so touched by your post. Taking time to grieve is something I am so aware of. I lost my dear husband in July 2010. I know it is different than losing a child. I have been there as well. I am touched that through all you have an attitude of gratitude. All things happen for a reason and a season of awareness and growth. Enjoy your time with family. We will be here when you return. xxxxx

Cherie Wilson said...

So sorry sweet girl, for your heart pains. Praising God for his perfect plans (Jeremiah 29:11) and your time to just be you and yours and soak up some sonshine and those truths that we looked so intently into a few weeks back. See you sometime later. Thank you for your words, Sami Jo. BE good to you!! sending Love! XO

lyssa said...

I AM sorry, Sami Jo! So, so sorry. I hope you'll be able to continue being your positive, joyful self in the midst of heartbreak. Take all the time you need - we'll be glad to see you back when you're ready!

Jackie said...

Awesome post sister, what a light you are for so many. There is no better place to be than in the arms of our Abba daddy.

I love you to the moon and back and that will never change.
mom

Boy Crazy said...

I'm sorry, sweetie! Been there! I know it hurts. Saying a prayer for you! (((HUGS)))

Jaris said...

Sami,
I am so sorry to here that. But you have such a good attitude, continue to share your feeling they do bless the lives of others. I remember when I working in OBGYN how hard it was to see mothers lose their pregnancy's but I sat in on a counseling session with one of our patients and the doctor I worked for and she said something that I have never forgotten. She said sometimes a miscarriage can be good news,in that you are reminded that you have the ability to conceive! So many women can't, I hope the lord gives you the strength you need.

Whispers and Wishes said...

Oh Sami, so sorry for your heartache. Yes, all things have a purpose but that doesn't make them easier. Peace and love.

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