Wednesday, February 4, 2009

Where have you been all my life?

This question has been going through my mind a lot lately. With going to Howe to hold my sweet baby sister's hand as she went through... as she calls it "the big "D" and don't mean Dallas" and also as I looking forward to what her life could have in store for her and sweet Carti girl. I know God has her in a special place in his master plan. I know this obstacle in her life is happening for a reason and what a testimony she has already discovered too. I'm so proud of her strides in this difficult time. She is so strong and beautiful. Fun and Inspirational. But still she feels empty...

She flat out tells me she doesn't want to be alone and that she wants that man that will be able to rope and come in from a hard days work and kneel down by their bed or the bed of their children and pray together. I want this for her too. I know there is a man out there that would want this beautiful Christian women but what I fear is that again it isn't the timing that we/she wants. I do look forward to that day where a gorgeous man sweeps my sister off of her feet and gives her every treasure under the moon, which is what she deserves (what her daughter deserves too) and tells her "Where have you been all my life?"... but for now Case you need to ask yourself that question - as we all do... Where have you been all my life? ... to ourselves.

Often my heart thinks to myself where is that girl... the girl that could ride for days and rope the snot out of a calf (for those of you who don't know - yes I rodeoed - Can you believe it?) or even where is that girl that could play basketball and volleyball. The girl who had self esteem seeping from every crevasse of her body. This questions also applies to Christ... Where have you been all my life... If you say this to the Lord you'll remember you have never been alone - and never will be. So all our lives he's been right there! Pretty Amazing! I've never been right there for anyone not even my son...

So Casi... you may be so thankful that I came and was with you during this hard time this weekend but honestly Thank You for helping me remember what we all need to remind ourselves... When we are feeling a little lost at heart and alone... Where have you been all my life? is the question and you'll find whatever you were ever looking for was right there the whole time.

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