Up until about a week or two ago I had definately been struggling with monitoring what I just let spew from my mouth as if I am an out of control bubblegum machine. Bubble Gum coming out everywhere and there is nothing you can do to stop it! Whatever was coming to mind I would just splurt it out and not even give it a second thought as to if it might hurt my husband's feelings or not. I was letting Satan get away with WAY too much! I had a break down and my hubby and I struggled for a whole weekend - where I couldn't quite figure out what the problem was. I just knew he was driving me crazy, he was a stinky, gross man who was completely unaware of what I needed or expected from him nor (I thought) did he care to know. I was so disgusted by even just looking at him and I just knew that I really liked it when he left for work and sometimes I wished he would stay there!
Finally Saturday evening, after I had talked to my dad, I realized that I wasn't being aware of what I was saying and any old thing that came to mind during our conversations I would say it. When I'm struggling with such things, I usually talk to my mom and sisters and things tend to just blow over... I can't hardly ever talk to my dad without bawling and everyone knows when your bawling you can't listen or really get anywhere in the conversation - so I usually just tell mom... No I can't talk to him - I'm okay. I think it is because I'm very concerned and probably mostly embarrassed of what he'll think about me having such issues.
I went to the Library and picked up 'Help Me! I'm Married' By Joyce Meyer (this author and speaker is a family favorite) She talked about asking the Lord to give you a new set of eyes for your husband, which has helped me with the whole - he's just a stinky man thing... :) and also she encourages you to pray for the Lord to help you be a better listen vs. trying to always have the last word.
Anyhow, through much prayer and petition of getting back in the Word... and as daddy-o says "Got to Battle, Battle Every Day" I've been monitoring my thoughts and actions and working through this hiccup. It is totally working like a charm and those snappy, cranky things I once would of said are getting held back to reflect a more loving and respectful wifey.
Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry, for man’s anger does not bring about the righteous life that God desires. Therefore, get rid of all moral filth and the evil that is so prevalent and humbly accept the word planted in you, which can save you.
James 1:19-21
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Seeking the Lord, feasting on His word, claiming His promises! His ways are perfect and He is just waiting to say, I need you Lord, I need you every minute.
to the moon Sami Jo
I love you to the moon
mom
It is always good to stop and reflect in a marriage. I may have to look up that book. I like some of the Dr. Laura books too (taken with a bit a common sense of course). I'm glad you are feel ing better about things. And yes, It's too hot!
Oh, those horrific pregnancy hormones!! I felt they sometimes made me into someone I'd never met before. I LOVE Joyce Meyer. Almost always I've got a CD of hers in my car to just help my mind be continually renewed. This old stinkin' flesh . . . cranky, hot, hormonal . . . thank God for His grace, patience and continued approval and enjoyment of me even in the worst of times.
This post makes me smile with how similar it is to me! I just feel like I cry every time I turn around and sometimes can'teven explain why. I totally agree that there is something about talking to Dad that turns on the water works! But his advice is always the best :) I know in our life, when I can look beyond myself everyone is happier- it's nice to have and share the resources that make it easier to do! So grateful for loving husbands despite our weaknesses, and for a Heavenly Father whose love we know is unconditional. :) Hope you keep feeling better!
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