maybe not as much as some gals but still i can start crying even if all you did was look at me funny. my friend megan, back in high school, always said i looked like a looney toon character when i cried because it seemed like the tears just started spraying out the sides of my eyes.
lots of tears.
i cry when i'm watching sappy movies, i cry when i'm on the phone with a loved-one, i even cried when i was working for Sears as a collector and i was talking to an old man who sounded like my Grandpa Bill and it obviously wasn't him, but it sounded just like him - and i was missing my Grandpa so much - so, i started crying... my manager thought i was nuts.
i cry about once a week because i miss my sisters, so much.
i cry when i'm worried about my babies, when they're sick or when they are hurt - i cry when i have bad dreams, i cry for my sister who is sad and sometimes feels like she's living in a bad dream.
i cry when i'm driving home and i haven't been there in a while and i've been missing it, i cry when i have to leave to go back to my new home with my family because i know, i'll be missin' my old home so much.
i cry when i'm proud of someone - when things change, when things seem like they'll never change.
sometimes i cry for no reason at all,
i cry when i'm stressed, when i'm confused - when i'm embarrassed, when i'm overwhelmed - i cry when i've hurt feelings, i cry when i've had my feelings hurt - when i need direction, when i'm at His feet broken.
i'm. a. crier.
i've always been a crier. it's how i deal. remember when we were young that you were crying so hard that whoever you were trying to talk to couldn't understand what you were saying and it just came out a big squeaky, whiny mess? or you cried all night because something (that now you would consider so silly and inconsequential) bad happened - either at school, with a friend, a boyfriend or sports?
i'm thankful i have that way to release that bottled-up emotion. sometimes you just need a good cry.
is crying a consequence of not trusting?
i once heard that if you are having a bad day - you are Not abiding in Christ. if you are wallowing in your stress, your hurt and your feelings - you are Not laying it down for Him. i think that maybe my crying (a lot of the time) is a good sign for me to see that i'm trying to take care of things on my own - solve my own problems, find my own joy.
and i'm forgetting that He's got this.
He never leaves.
and He is always there to wipe my tears, reassure with a kiss on the forehead - He'll turn me around, pat me on the butt and off i go to try again to Trust ...
first! this time.
*source for all pics here